A Banquet of Connection
Have you ever been hungry and reached for the nearest yummy something? I’m not talking about the kind of hunger that you plan for and anticipate sitting at the table to enjoy, I’m talking about the kind of hunger that overrides all sensible reason. The kind of hunger that won’t listen to you, at all. The kind of hunger that can’t wait and won’t wait. The kind of hunger that wants “That, right there. I don’t care if it’s not healthy. I want that right there!” Or, what about a craving for that certain something that motivated you to make a quick stop at the store? You know what I mean, the kind of craving that begins by sitting on your shoulder whispering reminders of sweet decadence into your imagination. The kind of craving that is so visual and vivid you can almost smell it and taste it. The truth is that hunger and cravings are signals telling your body you need energy to make you feel complete, whole or connected. Hunger lets you know you need fuel, while cravings are a signal that you are lacking certain types of fuel. Just as the body offers a hunger signal, we also have a warning sign when we lack Connection and Belonging, it’s called Loneliness.
There is a difference between Being Alone and Loneliness. While Being Alone provides an opportunity to reflect for the benefit of clarity, Loneliness is self-imposed confinement motivated by shame or loss. The shame of not “fitting in,” the shame of not “being good enough,” the shame of not “looking like them,” or the shame of not being “ (Fill in the blank) .“ Loneliness doesn’t require isolation to take root, we can feel lonely even in a crowded room like church. Why? Because Loneliness feeds on disconnection and disingenuous conversation.
As Kingdom Creatives, we tend to walk the tight rope between Being Alone and Loneliness. Being Alone is the atmosphere of our Sacred Space. Being Alone is the playground for our creative “I wonder if…” Being Alone offers freedom and a place to breathe, but Being Alone, if not properly fed, can quickly step off the path and lead to Loneliness. Loneliness in our Sacred Space, Loneliness in our church and yes, even feeling Lonely without God.
The answer is simple, but not always easy. Some might suggest, “Just make a friend, attend a small group at church or introduce yourself to someone.” That’s the simple answer. The “not so easy answer” is finding “Genuine Connection.” Genuine connection that requires genuine vulnerability. Believe it or not, you’ve already started. You started the day you opened your heart to Jesus. You started last Sunday when you opened your heart in worship. You started this morning when you thought of Him, read about Him and talked to Him. You’ve already started.
As a Kingdom Creative, genuine connection doesn’t require a congregation or auditorium. It doesn’t require confirmation and pats on the back. Genuine connection doesn’t require praises from the throngs or accolades to line your shelf. The only thing genuine connection requires is vulnerability that starts with an audience of One. Kingdom Creative, when you feel the hunger pains of Loneliness, resist feeding it disconnection and disingenuous conversation. Instead, sit at the banquet table with Him (Song of Songs 2:4-7), in an atmosphere of vulnerability and invite one or two others who would enjoy a meal of Genuine Connection.